Touching Lives & Making a Difference! Uplifting One Spirit One Smile at a Time!

Category: Family & Relationships

A Daughter’s Request to Be Heard

Based on “Dream Girls – Listen

Listen to the song here in my heart, A melody I started so long ago.

Listen to the sound from deep within. It took some time to find a release.

Now,  the time has come for my dreams to be heard.
They will not be pushed aside and turned into your own, All because you wouldn’t listen.

When I  was young
I stood alone at a crossroads
I had no home to call my own
I’ve cried and tried
To say what’s on my mind
You should have known

Now I stop believing you.
You never knew the pain I was feeling
I’m more than what you made of me
I followed the voice you gave to me
But now I found my own

You should have listened.
There is someone here inside.
A little girl I thought had died
So long ago

Now, her dreams will be heard.
They won’t be commandeered or ridiculed as impossible

All because you…

I’m no longer at a crossroads.
I have a home to call my own
I cried and tried to tell you what was on my mind, but you only saw you and never me.

I am no longer believing you.
You never knew what I was feeling
I am more than what you made of me

I am more than what you thought of me
No longer do I follow the voice you gave to me
Because now I have my own

I didn’t know where I belonged.
But so glad that I moved on
Because now,  I listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start; And now, will complete

I’m done believing the lies.
You never knew what I was feeling inside
I’m more than who you thought I could be

Now I follow the voice

The voice Yahweh gave to me
And I am following His path on
My own

Jackie’s Dash

Ecclesiastes 3 (ESV) is a familiar passage of scripture quoted when someone dies, or something of significance comes to an end; for there is a beginning and end to every life span.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3 (ESV)

However, at the time of loss, many question the reason for the loss. Yes, the bible state that “our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures;” but in truth, we never know when we will close our eyes for the final time. It is this reason why many say it is the space after the date of your birth and before the date of your death that counts the most.

When a child dies young, we say it was too soon. When a young life is taken due to violence we state, they were taken to soon. When illness strikes a loved one, we say we didn’t have enough time. However, in all of these matters, for someone out there, it will always be too soon.

I often quote a song penned by Thomas Whitfield, “Don’t Cry for Me,” when friends or family lose a relative or close friend. In the end, I would let the spirit guide my final thoughts depending if I had a personal relationship with the family or the loved one departed.  Words that would give them a happy memory to remember.

THe dash represents

See it is the space or time that dash stands for that will allow laughter instead of mourning, smiles instead of tears, love in place of pain. See it is that dash that can bring comfort to those that feel cheated and left behind. For its the memories that we leave, that will change one’s mourning into dancing. 

Often as we live our lives, we don’t like to think about when we will die when all that we set out to accomplished will come to an end. Few consider and/or can leave a legacy. We don’t stop and think about what people would really say about us in our passing.

The meaning

In 2015 during an interview, Lisa Nichols spoke about “The Dash.” She said something about wanting to make the dash dance. Sound strange but when you think about it would be nice. When one pass, you should want to be remembered for all the good that you did in this world. You should want to leave a legacy for the lives that you touched. You should wish to be remembered for the seeds you sowed; for the life that you brought forth; for the souls that you build up; and the promises you kept. You should want others to remember the times that you spoke and when you were silent. For how you dried tears and brought hope to the down trotted.

Yes, there is a time for everything, but in our death, the only time we should want others remembering are those actions done in love.  For no one is perfect, but if we live our lives each and every day, doing every deed for the perfect pleasing of God, we would have accomplished much during our lives.

An Angel’s Dash is Dancing

An angel was called home, on Sunday, September 15, ’19, left a legacy that extends far beyond the love for her sisters and their children. Far beyond the passion and devotion that she gave to her two children and her grandsons. She left a legacy with every precious soul that she touched as a school teacher and then as a teacher’s teacher and mentor. In this time of mourning, her dash is dancing. Dancing because her love outshined any imperfection.  

Yes, her dash is dancing, the memories of her life filled with love and compassion.

Rest in Sweet Peace Jackie Blackman, your legacy lives on through so many.

As our Child age…

So as we get older and our child age, we asked ourselves what will happen when we can’t take care of our children anymore? Who will? Will they be ok?

These questions become a growing list of worries as child and parent both age. In NYC, the support drastically changes once they age out of school at 21. The new system, believe home care is the answer. But is it?

Many parents struggle with the daily challenges of raising their children, maintaining a home and paying bills. Many marriages fall apart because the struggle is real and one party can’t cope or accept their child’s diagnose. The mental and physical health of the parent(s) deteriorates due to lack of support, isolation, physical neglect.

The Struggle is real!

For many, we keep our child close to us as possible. Fearful to have them around anyone because they won’t be understood. Fearful of the reaction to others if they have a crisis or meltdown in public. Fearful of the ignorant comments we may receive by those who are judgemental without a clue. But by isolating our children are we really preparing them for the real world. By isolating ourselves, we become unaware of the pitfalls and danger to our own mental state.

To place or not to place

There are programs, for the server medical or challenging behaviors. Most of them are residential others are day programs. For the day program, we are a lot more accepting of them. For our child leaves our home, goes to a school fully equipt to meet their needs and then return to less than half equipt setting at home. See they need more than our love and presence. The need a fully structured program to train and teach them the skills we haven’t been able to teach. But to send them to someplace else we first have to understand that true love of our child, is not doing what is comfortable or expected so save face. True love is admitting when we are in over our heads and accept we are no longer capable of giving our child the care and love that need in totality.

Follow “As the child age…” continues discussing next the path of residential placement rational.

Started pinning my first non-fiction “Mommy I want to be an Angel.”

It harder than writing my fiction books “Matters of the Heart Series.” Though a lot of the storyline in my romance stories is based loosely on my friend or even my life growing up, there a different type of muscle need to write directly about your life for all to read.


Today I awakened with the intention of writing in spite of having my son home with me. It is time I learn how to push through the distraction of his presence and general activity and get these books from mind to paper to the publisher. What I expected to write and wrote are two very different topics and styles. I intended to write. God intention was to have me finally pin my story of raising a child diagnosed with a mental health disorder and suffers from depression with suicidal idealization. No word count but the first section of a 5 section notebook completed.


I also realize that I will also need to pen a story of surviving a child diagnosed with regression autism and a severe fatal esophagus disease if his diet is not followed carefully and sent to the ‘house of Eli’ for training and nurturing. So much of my first-born is at the beginning of this story for contextual information it would only be fair to share his whole story as well.

To walk in my calling, I must be transparent in why I do what I do. So the preparation begins for the next level to commence.


Difficulty seeing one’s self accurately…..

With all that I have accomplished, with the varies accommodations and compliments I have received in the past and even to this day, seeing myself and abilities as others see me is difficult. It more than wanting to keep a humble perspective of myself to be used by God. It’s that my mission is to give my all and do my best regardless of what I do, but if asked to describe myself I can’t.

I was just speaking today that publishing my novel and becoming an author of multiple books, is one of those things on my bucket list created by my mother’s many comments of want I would never be able to do. Many of thing that she said I would never be able to do I have accomplished. Many of the things she claimed I would never be able to do, I have done. The only comments I haven’t proven wrong yet is that I am unlovable. After my second failed marriage by a man who could not accept the nature of his sons without blaming me, I know that he once loved me, but his love wasn’t stronger than his ego and pride. But because his loved changed, finding someone who can love me for eternity is on my bucket list to overcome.

As we heal from past relationship, as from ceiling unfairly spoken over us in our youth, and trauma in our life, we learn to heal from within making our lives filled with abundant blessings.

Daughters of Unloving Mothers: 7 Common Wounds

Faithfully Serving an Awesome God

I serve an awesome God.
One who sends shelter in the midst of a raging storm.
One who sends prayer warriors out of the blue that prays over you and your family in such a way that they give confirmation to things that they aren’t even aware of.
One who gives you a vision three years ago and bring everything together to supply all your needs at this point and time.
One who has allowed your spirit align with a coach to mentor you where you are at. A coach that gave an awesome prayer this morning about Faith. The one thing left for me to cling to this morning.
Faith sustains when all else fails!


Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. (Hebrew 11:1) Thank you Greatness for those words. Faith is knowing that the words I received in my spirit this weekend and even this morning is living proof that God’s words will not return to him void. That the motion of the Holy Spirit this morning is the result of the spiritual battles being fought on my behalf. As when Elisha spoke in 2 Kings 6:16 to his servant, “Don’t be afraid,” …“Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” I rest in knowing those very words holds true today. For the army of Lord has encamped around me and my boys and are protecting us from every fiery arrow, and we will not be consumed.  
I rest and believe in the Man that created the universe out of nothing except His word. I trust and believe this battle is not mine but the Lords. I will not sit in the council of disbelievers nor will seek revenge on those being used to stop and disqualify my calling and purpose. I will trust the Lord with my whole soul knowing that I will not be crushed, nor broken! But as the victory will belong to the Lord, He will elevate me to the mountain tops.
Through it all, I will trust in Jesus and power of His might. I will trust in the Lord through this journey walk,  serving and praising Him at all times. 

Psalm 91

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,”
    and you make the Most High your dwelling,
10 no harm will overtake you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 “Because he[b] loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

A Birthday Prayer Wish for You

On this day if I had a typical family, regardless where I was at or what was scheduled for this day, I would have called my mother first thing in the morning to wish her happy birthday. But I am not in a typical family nor do a have a normal of loving relationship with my mother. But to honor her I give you who suffered with no love and plenty of abusive to go around a birthday prayer wish to free you from prison.

It has been 6 months since I moved from my family home. Six months since I last spoken with the woman that gave me life, the woman that didn’t protect me from the abusive ways of her family, the woman that denied me a relationship with my father, the woman who abused me as a child and attacked my child.For over the last six months I would tell other children why forgiveness for my mother ways wasn’t an excuse nor was it sugar coating what happened. But a way for me to live a productive life free from pain and stress of carrying the weight of her guilt as my own. Accepting who and how my mother is and her ability to do no better than what she knew how to do. It was my chance to break the cycle of generational curses that have plague my family for years and raise my children in the truest meaning of love and respect as my Lord instructed me to do in His Holy Word. Forgiving my mother was my get of jail card from remaining imprisoned by her and living a free and liberated life with my Father in Heaven.

In the 48 years of my life, first out of fear of her than out of understanding the word of God, I have and continued to honored my mother. Though I have come to a place I must love and honor from afar, I continued to pray for her daily. On this my mother’s 79th birthday, my prayer for other children whose mother or father was less than ideal. Who survived through the abuse, the incest, the neglect and lack of love inflicted by your parent is that you forgive them for your days to be long. Accept that they could not do any better than what they were capable of doing and being. Accept that in spite of the challenges, the difficulty, and the scares you received, you were not broken nor destroyed, but you are an overcomer and a better person for that reason. Understand that as an adult the paint brush is now in your hands to paint the canvas of your life in beautiful and vibrant colors for your tomorrows.It is hard knowing the person responsible for my life I cannot loving honor on this day directly. But by living my life in love and raising my children pleasing unto my Lord I am honoring her better than if we were together.



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