If a daughter has a chance to celebrate the life of their mother’s 80th birthday, it is considered a momentous occasion. For the word of God in Psalms 90:10a state “Our days may come to seventy years, or eighty, if our strength endures;”. To be able to continue having a mother to love and receive love from is a blessing for many.

However, if we continue to read Psalms 90:10 is states that “yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.” For many daughters, those days of trouble and sorrow is magnified when there is no mother love to receive.  I am not speaking of a mother that has passed on and was buried, but a mother that has turned her back on her legacy and more importantly her children and children’s children.

How does a child reconcile the absence of love with a living celebration of her 80th birthday? How do they honor her when they aren’t even allowed to see her, without fearing that our days may be shortened without honoring her. For the word in Exodus 20:12 state “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”   On July 24th, my mother turned 80 years old, alone in the home she made her shrine, surrounded by those that seem to follow and obey her every command, yet has no love for her. Those that worship her words but deny citing the truth that goes against it for fear of losing the ability to use her for their own gain. While sitting at my home, less than ten miles away with my son, no birthday dinners and gift, nor could cards or calls be exchanged. In short, it was just another day on the calendar in her children’s’ home. But yet I can still honor her! In spite of the abuse received as a child or an adult, in spite of the hatred spewed towards my children I can still honor her. Unlike a hurt of an untrained child who may wish death and/or punishment for the pain that they endured at the hand of an abusive parent. Even unlike the examples of hatred she displayed toward my father and other relatives and people who crossed her, I have chosen to act as my Lord did as those that were against him, not as she has trained me to be.

Ways to Honor

On her 80th birthday, my prayer continues for God to soften her heart towards Him and for her return to the true word of the Living God. For God keep her in spite of her past pains that have caused her to walk away and turn her back on those that truly love her. But the greatest way to honor her is by living a full life of love and hope. Beyond praying for her I honor her in the way that I live my life and how I raise my children. Raising them with the love that was never received from her but from Angels that came into my life to steer and guide me during my many years of life. To give my children a legacy and heritage of a praying and God-fearing mother. By honoring in spirit and the truth of the living word that healed my brokenness. No, she may not display agape love, but she exposed me to agape through the life of Jesus love that has loved, cared and carried me from youth to my current day.

Happy Birthday, Juanita. May God love reach you in the depth of your soul and revive your love for Him.