Touching Lives & Making a Difference! Uplifting One Spirit One Smile at a Time!

Category: Parent Support

As our Child age…

So as we get older and our child age, we asked ourselves what will happen when we can’t take care of our children anymore? Who will? Will they be ok?

These questions become a growing list of worries as child and parent both age. In NYC, the support drastically changes once they age out of school at 21. The new system, believe home care is the answer. But is it?

Many parents struggle with the daily challenges of raising their children, maintaining a home and paying bills. Many marriages fall apart because the struggle is real and one party can’t cope or accept their child’s diagnose. The mental and physical health of the parent(s) deteriorates due to lack of support, isolation, physical neglect.

The Struggle is real!

For many, we keep our child close to us as possible. Fearful to have them around anyone because they won’t be understood. Fearful of the reaction to others if they have a crisis or meltdown in public. Fearful of the ignorant comments we may receive by those who are judgemental without a clue. But by isolating our children are we really preparing them for the real world. By isolating ourselves, we become unaware of the pitfalls and danger to our own mental state.

To place or not to place

There are programs, for the server medical or challenging behaviors. Most of them are residential others are day programs. For the day program, we are a lot more accepting of them. For our child leaves our home, goes to a school fully equipt to meet their needs and then return to less than half equipt setting at home. See they need more than our love and presence. The need a fully structured program to train and teach them the skills we haven’t been able to teach. But to send them to someplace else we first have to understand that true love of our child, is not doing what is comfortable or expected so save face. True love is admitting when we are in over our heads and accept we are no longer capable of giving our child the care and love that need in totality.

Follow “As the child age…” continues discussing next the path of residential placement rational.

Started pinning my first non-fiction “Mommy I want to be an Angel.”

It harder than writing my fiction books “Matters of the Heart Series.” Though a lot of the storyline in my romance stories is based loosely on my friend or even my life growing up, there a different type of muscle need to write directly about your life for all to read.


Today I awakened with the intention of writing in spite of having my son home with me. It is time I learn how to push through the distraction of his presence and general activity and get these books from mind to paper to the publisher. What I expected to write and wrote are two very different topics and styles. I intended to write. God intention was to have me finally pin my story of raising a child diagnosed with a mental health disorder and suffers from depression with suicidal idealization. No word count but the first section of a 5 section notebook completed.


I also realize that I will also need to pen a story of surviving a child diagnosed with regression autism and a severe fatal esophagus disease if his diet is not followed carefully and sent to the ‘house of Eli’ for training and nurturing. So much of my first-born is at the beginning of this story for contextual information it would only be fair to share his whole story as well.

To walk in my calling, I must be transparent in why I do what I do. So the preparation begins for the next level to commence.


A Birthday Prayer Wish for You

On this day if I had a typical family, regardless where I was at or what was scheduled for this day, I would have called my mother first thing in the morning to wish her happy birthday. But I am not in a typical family nor do a have a normal of loving relationship with my mother. But to honor her I give you who suffered with no love and plenty of abusive to go around a birthday prayer wish to free you from prison.

It has been 6 months since I moved from my family home. Six months since I last spoken with the woman that gave me life, the woman that didn’t protect me from the abusive ways of her family, the woman that denied me a relationship with my father, the woman who abused me as a child and attacked my child.For over the last six months I would tell other children why forgiveness for my mother ways wasn’t an excuse nor was it sugar coating what happened. But a way for me to live a productive life free from pain and stress of carrying the weight of her guilt as my own. Accepting who and how my mother is and her ability to do no better than what she knew how to do. It was my chance to break the cycle of generational curses that have plague my family for years and raise my children in the truest meaning of love and respect as my Lord instructed me to do in His Holy Word. Forgiving my mother was my get of jail card from remaining imprisoned by her and living a free and liberated life with my Father in Heaven.

In the 48 years of my life, first out of fear of her than out of understanding the word of God, I have and continued to honored my mother. Though I have come to a place I must love and honor from afar, I continued to pray for her daily. On this my mother’s 79th birthday, my prayer for other children whose mother or father was less than ideal. Who survived through the abuse, the incest, the neglect and lack of love inflicted by your parent is that you forgive them for your days to be long. Accept that they could not do any better than what they were capable of doing and being. Accept that in spite of the challenges, the difficulty, and the scares you received, you were not broken nor destroyed, but you are an overcomer and a better person for that reason. Understand that as an adult the paint brush is now in your hands to paint the canvas of your life in beautiful and vibrant colors for your tomorrows.It is hard knowing the person responsible for my life I cannot loving honor on this day directly. But by living my life in love and raising my children pleasing unto my Lord I am honoring her better than if we were together.



Child Abuse

Child abuse is not only physical but emotional and mental. When you curse with profanity toward your child and before them, you are the who needs to be slapped when they repeat it. As you call your child every name but that which was written in on their birth certificate, understand changing their name changes them.  Using names that are degrading and hurtful over time,  the children believes these names are who they are. Done throughout their life, identity crisis will be a true issue in their future. When you expect a 4/5-year-old to manage as a 1o/11 or same as you, you stunt their growth and learning process.

Children are children. Yes, we must teach them, yes we must correct their behavior to learn right from wrong. But please make sure you know right from WRONG way correct and teach. Cursing, yelling, slapping and name call of a young child is abuse. Modeling the exact behavior before your child you correct from exhibiting, understand every child learns from what they see and then from what you say.

In becoming a mother or father, no longer is the status quo just to repeat what how your parents raised you. You may question why because you said you grow up ok. But have you? You have one or two children, unwedded and in some cases has an absentee partner. Your education is least if you completed high school. You’re living off your parents. The newest man willing to sell you food/shelter for sex or you are in a homeless shelter. You have no vision for your life but what your body can bring you. No wish to do more because you only know what you were instructed as a child. Unable to change your mantle because now you are an adult. You are all knowing and no one can tell you something better.

Without knowledge of the struggle our ancestor overcame, we are compelled to repeat them. The Word state in Proverb 29:18a “When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild.” (NLT) We are living with a generation running wild and abusing all generation coming behind them. After years of Kings that strayed away from the Word of God, King Hezekiah return the people of Israel to live before the Lord and His decrees. It is time for many Hezekiah’s’ to rise. Rise in the spirit of LOVE to teach and guide a lost generation how to be young ladies and gentlemen, how to love and respect themselves, how to be the light for the next generation.


Remembering Grandma’s Birthday

Forty years ago I was moved to NYC to be with my grandmother this month. For today would have been her birthday. If she was with us she would have been 112 years old. But nine months after bringing her baby girl home she went to sleep in the Lord.

Unlike most, I can’t speak on years of her love, kindness, and teaching. For I only had nine months to know her. Nine months to wonder why did she cause me come here to place my brother nor I fit in. However unlike most would choose to remember their grandmother, I remember the hell that broke loose or free after her death. Hell, that was because of jealousy, hatred, egos and power. Issues that were hidden, push under the rug, sent south to hide or banned from one’s home. Issues that has plagued generations after generations to this day.

Our community, my people don’t talk much about the past. Our communities hide away from incest and sexual abuse and rape of children, illegitimate children, abortions and criminal misconduct of generations old. Generation of old hide true birth records, criminal records, and true family trees. These hidden truths have caused future generations to unravel, breakdown, or be destroyed by the truth as they are revealed.

To stop this generation curse today we must raise our children in truth and love. We must teach them self-respect, respect of others, and discipline. Only by this can we turn the past into stepping stones giving our future generations hope.

As I approach my birthday, that I share in the month of my maternal grandmother, I seek Godly wisdom in the care and growth of my children. For no weapon of the past will overshadow their future. For the true Word of the Lord will be taught and lived before them. They will be victorious.

Hester Virginia Jefferson-Fields Finney, you may have realized your errors, or as your child had selfish motives for bringing her back home. Whichever is the case your grand and great grand+ are suffering from your actions or lack of? Your children have followed in the precepts of the youthful teachings and have caused at least two generations pain and suffering. The suffering that was not of their own doing or understanding and until they say the ‘the buck stops here’ and move forward taking the understanding we do have the true knowledge of the only Living God and rebuild our lives.

To say Rest In Peace as you watched the actions of your child that have yet to join you, sounds strange. Yet as the rich man who sought to warn his siblings of the error of their ways before they join him, you nor can her siblings can warn them of the judgment that must be faced. My prayer for your family is that they all seek after the Lord taught in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and abandon the gospel of the Finney clan that they have converted to the truth.

Your granddaughter,

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