- 2009 – Created a plan for my future by God’s guidance
- 2012 – Graduated with a 3.29 GPA with a BS in Business Administration
- 2015 – July – Divorced after a 3-year battle; moved the oldest child to residential setting out of state; moved the youngest child with me my mother’s home
- 2015 – October 7 Received first diagnoses for my youngest child after threatening to commit suicide in the at age 7
- 2016 – Receive eviction papers from my mother
- 2017 – January 13th Move to a hotel with my son
- 2017 – January 30th Moved to DHS shelter [for mom and child]
- 2017 – June Custody case ensued
- 2017 – September 2nd Moved into my own apartment
- 2019 – January 31st Released the book covers for my first novel
- 2019 – February Received Certificate of Incorporation for my business
- 2019 – March Open my business account
- 2019 – April Claiming in advance the release of my books as a best sellers
“I don’t think the way you think.
The way you work isn’t the way I work.”
“For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don’t go back until they’ve watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They’ll do the work I sent them to do,
they’ll complete the assignment I gave them.
Isaiah 55:8-13 The Message (MSG)
When God gave me a plan in 2009, He did not put a time stamp on the length or the date it will come to pass. He did not tell me the various obstacles, roadblocks, setbacks, trials or tribulations I would have to overcome before the full plan came to pass. He just gave me a vision and mission and asked me to TRUST HIM.
My youngest son was born in 2008, immediately after birth, the hell that was simmering in my marriage exploded. By 2010 infidelity became a factor amid the nightmare.
But God told me to return to school and finish my degree that was stopped at the birth of my first son. He sent me the caretaker and financial means to do so. During this time Satan reared every head he could stand against me. I sought prayer from the woman of my church and P
Though all of this, I maintain the care for my boys, seeking all the services medically and physically needed to care for him. I continued to learn the world of special need children both in the Department of Education and thru government agencies with the Office of People with Developmental Disabilities. I volunteered in various counsels and parent organizations educating and assisting other parents struggling to learn this new way of living when your child is diagnosed with Autism. I continued to grow in knowledge.
As the dysfunction continued in our home my youngest witness the constant verbal and mental abuse of his father towards me. Because my children fed off my emotional state, I learn to hold my temper and emotions at bay, for the most part, not to react in front of them. But that only gave their father more fuel to try and break and imprison me to his commands.
By August 2012 the patriarch of the Blackman family died. Not knowing what I know now, after seeking direction in explaining the death of my son’s great grandfather at the age of four. Explaining how grandpa was now an angel in heaven with God with no more pain and now an angel watching over him. An explanation that came back to haunt me later. Less than a year later my son told me he wanted to be an angel for the first time. He wanted to be able to watch over both his big brother and me and keep us safe. Because of the dysfunction in our home, I thought I understood where that thought originated.
By 2013 I sought to end this dysfunction and give my ex his freedom. That was a mistake, for he didn’t want freedom but to enslave me. Told me, “though we would never reconnect, I would never serve you with a certificate of divorce.”
For three years we lived in an apartment that was slowly being restricted in access to space, food and primary care. But God continued to keep me active in serving those that God placed before me to minister to in spite of all that I was going through. During this time God used others to come in an assist me in the areas that their father no longer supported or restricted. By September, the model student in kindergarten transformed into a nightmare after 3 weeks of witnessing us being imprisoned in that bathroom with a madman breathing threatening verbiage to me. Which lead to immediate counseling for our baby weekly with a therapist. The start of the mother and son journey to healing. As for the father, he
My oldest boy being cognitively as young as my baby boy needed more attention and services that I could obtain. An advocate and counselor with OPWDD set me down one day and explained to me that the care my oldest needed would never be enough under my own strength and would rob my youngest from the attention and care that he would need to grow and developed. I had to seek God on this. See I had to pray the Hannah prayer to conceive him, and now it seemed I had to create a Hannah prayer to entrust him into God’s hand to care and raise him. A journey that took months seeking approval and ultimately finding the appropriate setting.
My youngest showing signs amidst all the chaos of being on the spectrum went from under-diagnosed to misdiagnosed to finally diagnosed appropriately, but the trauma he suffered has created other issues. Remember I said I would regret the way I explained death to a four-year-old. Well, he interpreted that dying ends pain and hurts.
As his mind was forced to deal with the dysfunction in our home, to be separated from his brother, moving away from all that he knew and the rejection of a woman who claimed to love him as a grandmother should; adopted the mindset that death was the only solution to end his pain. From that fretful day October 7, 2015, when he shared his desire and plan on killing himself to January 25, 2019, when he physically attempted to kill himself, I have fought and continue to fight for him to receive proper mental health care and appropriate education as he is a twice-exceptional child.
Each challenge increased my knowledge base and strengthened my prayer and faith walk, giving me the ability to assist other parents in the care from their children and for any woman who found themselves on any of the paths that I have traveled.
From 2015 to 2017, in my mother’s home, God opened every locked door in my heart of hurt that I buried in my childhood. From the sexualization from uncles and god-father, the abuse and jealousy of aunts and cousins, physical and mental abuse from my mother. This time was used for me to face my first dream killer whose words over the years tried to break and weakened me. To stand up and claim my life as God designed not how my mother wanted to control as a child or thought she would now that I returned home.
God introduces me to the world of Lisa Nichols’ Abundance Now movement. A movement guided me through the path of discovering the gift that God has placed inside me and the plan that He has for my life. A journey of healing and forgiveness.
This time was used to build my strength to step out from under a cloud of lies she raised me to believe, to grow on the lesson learned through my marriage and stand completely on my own. Relying not on the one who gave birth to me or the man that married me and set the path for the next road I would travel but relying on the one who knitted me secretly in the depth of my mother’s womb. Relying on the one who created me in His image, and not the image that resembles the model my mother and ex-husband envisioned. I used this time to discover me and my strength.
Fast forward today. From Lisa Nichols, I have met many other beautiful coaches and women of God that has spoken into my life and my future endeavors.
The obstacles haven’t ended. The challenges haven’t ceased to raise up a block God’s plan. But by walking on my path with God’s guidance, I am overcoming them all. I have written my first book through my teachers and mother said I could or should never write. I created the vision that God gave and had it incorporated legally to assist and help others. I speak to into other lives to share God’s love, to provide them with hope and help grow their faith. I write of challenges we face as children growing up amid dysfunction to spread hope.
I am here, my voice will be heard, and my God will be glorified!