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Category: Mothers

As our Child age…

So as we get older and our child age, we asked ourselves what will happen when we can’t take care of our children anymore? Who will? Will they be ok?

These questions become a growing list of worries as child and parent both age. In NYC, the support drastically changes once they age out of school at 21. The new system, believe home care is the answer. But is it?

Many parents struggle with the daily challenges of raising their children, maintaining a home and paying bills. Many marriages fall apart because the struggle is real and one party can’t cope or accept their child’s diagnose. The mental and physical health of the parent(s) deteriorates due to lack of support, isolation, physical neglect.

The Struggle is real!

For many, we keep our child close to us as possible. Fearful to have them around anyone because they won’t be understood. Fearful of the reaction to others if they have a crisis or meltdown in public. Fearful of the ignorant comments we may receive by those who are judgemental without a clue. But by isolating our children are we really preparing them for the real world. By isolating ourselves, we become unaware of the pitfalls and danger to our own mental state.

To place or not to place

There are programs, for the server medical or challenging behaviors. Most of them are residential others are day programs. For the day program, we are a lot more accepting of them. For our child leaves our home, goes to a school fully equipt to meet their needs and then return to less than half equipt setting at home. See they need more than our love and presence. The need a fully structured program to train and teach them the skills we haven’t been able to teach. But to send them to someplace else we first have to understand that true love of our child, is not doing what is comfortable or expected so save face. True love is admitting when we are in over our heads and accept we are no longer capable of giving our child the care and love that need in totality.

Follow “As the child age…” continues discussing next the path of residential placement rational.

A Loveless Mother’s Forgiveness

Many sons and daughters this Mother’s Day, longs for another day to be able to hear their mother say “I Love You”, for a chance to be held in their mother’s arms again. To have that one last chance to hear their voice, but instead must live on memories.

For many Mother’s Days, I have written letters to my mother. Letters that allowed me to express words that I could never share with her directly. Words that give me release from the pain of her absence, release from memories that leave me wanting and crying for what could never be.

 

What do you say to the children whose mother was just the vessel that gave birth to them? What words of comfort do you share that relieves the pain of missing a mother’s love that they may never experience even though they were raised in the same home with her.

 

Fathers (Mothers), do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  Eph. 6:4 NAS

I remember the teaching that states to “honor your father and mother and your days will be long” for by following this commandment you receive the first promise. A lesson all parent teach their children regardless if they follow Ephesians 6:4 or not. But when your mother’s discipline was in pain, her teachings were not of the Lord’s yet though it all you remain quiet. You honored her if for no other reason than she gave birth to you. You stayed quiet about home because others couldn’t believe or accept your truth. It’s a hard concept to understand anyone having anything but a loving mother. Yet the Lord questioned and answered that very possibility. The LORD answered, “Could a mother forget a child who nurses at her breast? Could she fail to love an infant who came from her own body? Even if a mother could forget, I will never forget you. Isaiah 49:15 CEV

As I look back, I used to mourn for what could never be. I mourned for love that I never received. But one day, I realized I wasn’t motherless, but blessed.

Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD cares for me. Psalm 27:10 CBS

The bible states that in the absence of parents the Lord would care for you, and He will. Throughout one’s life, God sends mothers to guide and lead at different points in your life. The woman in your neighborhood whose house welcomed you with hugs and cakes. The teacher that made that extra time to talk you whenever you felt lost.  The coach that encouraged you to succeed and continue to root for you even when there was no one else rooting. The church momma that gently guided you when started going left instead of right. The Lord cared for you by bringing numerous mothers in your life at the time you need them.

Yes, there is nothing like a mother’s love from the woman who is responsible for bringing you into this world. It is a bond that one would think impossible to be absent, destroyed or neglected. Unfortunately many children this Mother’s Day look on Mother’s Day in disdain. If you happen to know one of those children, hug and let them know they are loved. As God spoke to Jeremiah, He also is speaking to you. “Jeremiah, I am your Creator, and before you were born, I chose you to speak for me to the nations.”Jeremiah 1:5 CEV  The Lord continues the tell us has He stated: “I will bless you with a future filled with hope–a future of success, not of suffering.” Jeremiah 29:11 CEV  

The Lord has covered you through your childhood, He gave you testimony to share and assists others. He has given you a recipe to create your own family knowing all item that will allow you to flourish as a loving parent.

This Mother’s Day to the motherless child, I beseech you to forgive and let go of what could never be. I request for you to leave your past only taking the lessons learned. To become that mother you never had. To care for children from your womb or others that they will call you Blessed.

 

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