Each month this year I said I would at least make a post to stay active and relevant to what was going on around me and in my life. However, the first two months of this year has been anything as planned or expected. Goals and plans that were planned out for the first quarter which was superseded by a reality that couldn’t be thwarted.

Since the start of this year, I came to understand that nothing happens without a reason and purpose. That God is in control no matter what goes down. But regardless of what does happens, no matter good or bad, God will work everything out for those that calls on His name.

If someone else traveled the road I have been on these last two years at least, it would have caused them to give up or escaped through drugs or alcohol or commit suicide. I will confess, I am glad I have a strong belief that my Heavenly Father will provide in spite of where I am at because if I was a drinker I am not sure even the 12 step program would have pulled me back.

I have learned what it means to be forsaken by one’s parent that despises the very breath you breathe and the child of your womb. Yet instead of feeling hate and being angry, I realize that her hate is hers. There are issues in her life from childhood that has ruled how she lived the majority of her 78+ years of life. Situations that has festered and turned her into an angry, bitter woman that could never love or accept her own children or grandchildren as a gift instead of a commodity to be used and control. As I walked away this final time, I leave with prayers she finds the peace and happiness she craves. However, I know money and property will never give her what she seeks nor could control others. I pray for her soul and her mind. But I can not and will not allow the demonic spirit that has controlled her life, control or rule mine. The Word of God states in Psalm 37:25 “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” A word I can testify to as she closed her doors before me. No matter where I found myself, I can state that the blessing of God has preceded me and His favor has been upon me.

The road I am on is difficult, nor do I take it for granted. In all truth, I have been blessed in my lack as when I was in plenty. I can say I understand Peter’s words when he said in Philippians 4:10-13, “I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last, you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

How can I sing the songs of the Lord while in a foreign land? There is no land my Lord can not be, no place He can not meet me. So in a crystal castle to a room to that gives me shelter, I will sing praises to my Lord, I will sing of His goodness and loving mercies. I will glorify his name in all that I do. I will share his wondrous work with all that cares to listen.

The question that has pestered me most, besides when will once again view life from the mountain top, is how do I bring God’s healing to the bleeding hearts that are around me. Nothing just happens and where I am isn’t just happenstance. God ordain me to be where I am today, for His purpose of teaching and stretching me, but more so to be used to share His word with the lost and misguided. Be careful what you pray for! Especially be careful when you tell Aba Father here am I to be used by Him. You will never know the path that He will take you. (For those that understand this sidebar: I believe that our Father has lost His mind in but how I am so thankful in spite of that He has me on His mind). For years I have known the calling on my life and at one point thought I knew what direction my life would take to allow me to walk in said calling. But what I thought was the straight path has had various streams, lakes, and rivers that must be travel before I am prepared to reach the ocean. Paths that has strengthened my skills and understanding to serve as an Authentic witness.

I once told a group of young ministers speaking on life, many that I could have been my sons, you may know the Word, and the Lord can use to speak into someone’s situation, but until you have a personal testimony, you are only a speaker. TD Jakes stated one of his sermons and echoed just today by a friend. You can’t minister to me about something you never experienced. You can’t understand my pain if you never experience pain. In my 48 years of life, I have survived and overcame many obstacles. Obstacles that should have killed me years ago if God didn’t carry through many of those storms, giving me the experience and understanding to speak to others who find themselves on similar paths

Soon I will share this journey, but I will say this when James wrote in verse 5:16b (My favorite New Testament Book) “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. (KJV)” He meant “The prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with. (MSG). For the prayers have carried me, sustain me and is pushing me into my greatness. The teaching has given me wisdom needed for such a time.

I will continue to allow Christ to take the wheel and pilot my journey into His abundance for me. I will continue to walk obediently as the spirit guides me ministering and encouraging others to hold on and believe a change is coming. I know I need to step further from the pool of fear to reach others that need to hear my story and current journey.

A change in the wind is coming, with it, the blessing will flow.

2/28/17